Many of the stories Jay and I joke about intertwined. So, in order to tell you one of my favorite Jay stories, "The List", I need to tell a few background stories including "Paperus". About three years ago Jay was dating a girl named Tara. Now, let me just say up front that I really didn't like her. She was immature, controlling, and she had a compulsive need to be right. She could never loose an argument or admit that she was wrong and she would frequently interrupt and correct people in the middle of a conversation. She was also constantly on the go and couldn't tolerate down time, or just hanging out.
Jay and Tara flew in to visit and we took them to a local museum. We walk around for a few hours and then take a break in the museum cafeteria. Now, Jay, my wife, and I were exhausted and just happy to be sitting down and chatting. Tara ignores the conversation and pulls out an address book and a pen and paper and starts writing a letter to a pen pal. I have no idea why a 27 year old woman has a pen pal, but ignore that for a minute. Tara finishes her two page letter and then busts out an envelope and stamps. Yes, not content to just carry letter writing supplies she walks around with a post office in her purse in case her day has a spare five minutes.
Later that day we spent some time in a local mall that had a Papyrus store, it's a chain that sells paper products. Now, for those not familiar with the word Papyrus think of it as an old form of paper. The word is pronounced [puh-pahy-ruhs]. I was standing with Jay in a bookstore when Tara walked up with a bag:
"Hey, what do you have there Tara?" - Jay
"I just bought something from Paperus." Tara pronouncing it "Paper Us"
"Uhhh, Tara I think it's pronounced Papyrus"
Now imagine the most condescending tone possible:
"Sigh, no Jay; no. It's Paperus, because they sell paper. Paperus"
"... OK Tara"