Thursday, April 26, 2007

The List

It's been an interesting few weeks in Jay land. Unfortunately I need to wait for him to break up with his current girlfriend before I can tell you about any of the current drama. This may take a few days / weeks / months it's hard to tell, but man will it be worth the wait. In the mean time I give you the long promised List:

I've talked before about Jay's inability to get things done. About four years ago I wanted to play "Sam & Max" (a great game by the way). Now, Jay is friends with one of the "Sam & Max" developers and he promised to get me a copy. A full year later I still didn't have a copy. 52 weeks of "Sorry man, I forgot. I'll see him next week", and "Man I'm going to see that guy tomorrow I'll get it then don't worry". So a year later I give him a call:

"Don't worry about it Jay, I'll just get a copy off e-bay"
"No, listen I'm really going to get it. It's on the list. Really."
"List? What list? The list of shit you're not going to do?"

Not long after that incident Jay and Tara broke up. I was talking to him shortly thereafter about how crazy Tara was and I was privy to this gem:
"Jay, really I'm amazed that you guys lasted this long. She was controlling and obsessively task oriented. Your inability to get things done must have driven her crazy."
"Yeah, it really did. Did I tell you about the time she tried to bribe me with sex?"
"A few months ago we stopped having sex because she decided premarital sex was a sin. After a couple of weeks I'm dying for sex, and I literally resort to begging. Now get this, she agrees to have sex with me if I finish a list of chores."
"You've got to be kidding me!"
"No, she literally gave me a list of chores and told me 'Jay I'll straight up have sex with you if you get this done.'"
"Dude, what was on this list?"
"Simple stuff: I needed to get an oil change and pay some bills. Stuff like that. It was all stuff that I needed to do anyway."
"Did you do it?"
"No. I never did. I started some of them, but I never did them all."
"Why not?"
"I don't know. But seriously, it was a list of things a normal person could get done in a productive afternoon."