Saturday, November 15, 2008


I was talking to Jay recently about his OCD:

"Dude, do you remember when you thought your boss was using your laptop to spy on you?"
"Yeah, man I remember that. That was hilarious."
"What do you think about that now?"
"It's crazy. It makes absolutely no sense, but at the time it seemed reasonable. I don't know man, my OCD seems to come and go. Earlier this year was really bad, but now I'm not having any problems."
"Well, that kind of makes sense. You moved and started a new job, so I imagine the stress had something to do with it."
"Yeah man, but it was bad. Did I ever tell you about the trip I took with Jessica to LA?"
"No, what's this?"
"Well, I started getting really paranoid about the silverware at the restaurants we would go to. I was worried about catching AIDS or Hep C or something. I was thinking that there was something on the knives and forks and since my gums were bleeding I could catch it."
"Dude ..."
"I know it doesn't make any sense, but my strategy for avoiding the silverware was just to order sandwiches. Everywhere we went I would just get a sandwich. We were going to nice restaurants but it didn't matter, I would scour the menu for a sandwich."
"And did that work for you?"
"Well Jessica noticed and she got soooo pissed. She said 'I know why you're getting sandwiches Jay. It's your OCD isn't it? I can't deal with this', and I'm like 'No, come on; I've just been in the mood for sandwiches. It's no big deal.' and she's like 'Now you're lying to me too. I know you're lying about the sandwiches.'"
"What happened?"
"It basically ruined our trip. She was pissed the whole time. I even stopped getting the sandwiches. I just made sure we went to really high end places that I knew were clean, but it didn't help. At the end of the trip I was like 'Come on, that was a fun trip' and she just said 'Jay, if I'd known you were going to be this way I never would have taken time off work for this. I would have rather been at work than come on this trip with you.'"
"Harsh man. But I love that line: Jay, I know about the sandwiches. Don't lie to me about the goddamn sandwiches!!"

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